8 Mar What Google can learn from Communication Coaches
A recent New York Times Magazine article (Group Study by Charles Duhigg 2/25/16) discussed the Google Project Aristotle, a painstaking, in-depth study of what differentiates high functioning team meetings from stagnant, ineffective ones.
With all due respect (more…)
25 Feb Is it positive to be negative at work?
Do you have to deal with an abusive colleague or boss? Someone who’s sarcasm is just a bit too much? Listen to Ethan Becker and Laurie Schloff discuss the issue.
10 Jul 5 Reasons to Say Goodbye to Shy
By Laurie Schloff, Senior Coaching Partner
There’s nothing wrong with introspection – some of the time. Most of us fall somewhere on the shyness spectrum, ranging from folks who are quiet by choice (or because they’re afraid of expressing themselves) to people who are reflective and choose to use their words sparingly. Wherever you fit on the shyness spectrum, you will probably benefit from learning outgoing behaviors and practicing a more forthcoming communication style. Here are five reasons to say goodbye to shy:
1. More opportunities. People who are shy tend to be less successful professionally than their more gregarious counterparts. There’s a strong association between possessing good communication skills (that is, expressing ideas clearly, showing support and concern for others, coming across well in interviews) and upward mobility. In these tough economic times, it’s even more critical to have an edge on getting (or keeping) a job offer or the chance for a promotion. And, for freelancers, better communication skills can keep those assignments coming your way.
2. You’ll feel better. People who have positive interpersonal relationships at work and outside of work are healthier and enjoy a better quality of life. The more you deepen your connection to others, through talking and nonverbal communication, the more you’ll have a sense of well being. You don’t necessarily have to maintain an active social life with lots of partying, if that’s not your preference – but several key relationships will be good for you, in the long run, even if developing those connections cause you stress in the short term.
3. Feelings of mastery. Learning skills for overcoming shyness and being a good conversationalist adds to the toolbox that you can use anywhere, anytime. These tools include skills in initiating conversations, continuing conversations, ending conversations, networking, contributing to a conversation, and showing an interest in others. You can pull out these tools, as you require them, to be a better manager, employee, or friend. Once you’ve mastered these social skills, you can use them, and reuse them, in different ways throughout your life.
4. You deserve to be noticed. The speaking wheel gets the grease, and the wallflower stands alone. Just because you’re a quieter person, why should you be denied the goodies that some of the more talkative people get? Leave shyness behind, and people will be more interested in talking to you, they’ll seek you out for business networking, and you’ll be noticed in terms of attracting friends and potentially a mate. And that’s just the beginning!
5. You’ll be better appreciated. Shyness too frequently is misinterpreted as arrogance or snobbishness. Having a friendly and open facial expression, including smiling, is the most important ingredient in being seen as approachable and likeable. Everyone, whether shy or not, wants to be liked. Take a shot at it. Sometimes, all it takes is changing your countenance to change people’s response to you – and to open the door to meaningful connections.
It may require effort to leave your shyness behind, but the rewards are instantaneous. If you walk down the street and smile, 9 times out of ten, you’ll receive a smile in return. This signals that you’re on your way to becoming a friendly and approachable person – and it’s as easy as taking that first step and putting a smile on your face.
18 Aug Steven Slater: Service Traitor
By Laurie Schloff, Senior Coaching Partner
Hello people, rationality calling.
I feel real bad for Steven Slater. Most of us would forgive him for reaching the flying freak out point one hot day in August.
We got the laugh and the vicarious revenge. Apparently, many Americans are so fed up with the people or the boss they were hired to serve that flight attendant Steven Slater’s dramatic exit from JetBlue made them green with envy.
Sure, it’s a blast to bond over one giant slide revenge fantasy together—for a day.
But Slater’s no hero to those of us working for positive communication in the workplace. He made a rabid choice when he slid down that chute with two beers. If only he had stopped at the beers and regained his bearing!
In addition to facing a possible seven years in prison for the most slapstick career buster ever, Steven Slater is a service traitor.
Too bad– with his know how and experience, he could have been a service first-rater.
Great service providers have to be able to take the cabin pressure. They don’t give in to rudeness. They break the routine by bonding in some small way with customers. They pride themselves on keeping cool and use techniques to block negative emotion.
Service soldiers win medals for kindness, compassion and patience. They nurture themselves with deep breaths, venting to a pal and a good foot massage.
Super servicers understand that customers can have bad days and even be bad people, but that great service providers are proud to be pleasant, even on their worst days.
Granted, Mr. Slater may end up hosting a “Take This Job and Shove It” reality show.
Sadly though, his inner reality is that he failed to be all he could be in the profession of service civility.
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We would love your response to:
“What do you do when you are about to lose your cool at work?”
16 Jan Britney Gengel–Please be Alive
By: Laurie Schloff
Usually I am glad when there’s an empty seat next to me on a plane. Yet when a mom with a beautiful smile apologized for taking the middle seat, her spirit was so warm, I didn’t mind at all. As TV camera people came down the aisle to film her just sitting there. I said “You must be famous.” She told me that she was going to meet her daughter, a student at Lynn University in Florida, who had just arrived in Haiti with a student group called “Journey of Hope to Haiti”. An hour after checking into the hotel, the earthquake hit. I instinctively said, “You’re Britney’s mom.”
I had heard her husband on the radio that morning praising God and that all he wanted was Britney in his arms. They had been told she had been rescued, was in a helicopter, perhaps on its way to the nearby Dominican Republic. They had not talked to her or seen a picture and didn’t know if she was physically hurt.
Going through a personal earthquake of emotions, to a destination of unknowns I was amazed by CherylAnn’s ability to show such grace and cheer on the outside. This was a communication under pressure lesson for me and one I will pass on to clients –and myself.
I felt protective of CherylAnn, flying through the clouds to hold her daughter. We both watched CNN in fear., I gave her some juicy fruit and movie magazines. She told me that Britney dreamed of being on TV. I said that as a speech coach, I’d help her in any way and for her sure to be debut as a guest on The Today Show on Monday . CherylAnn turned to say ” See you on Oprah!” as she departed with her husband and their two teen boys to reunion with their little girl.
But this morning, the world and dear mom, CherylAnn, were told that there had been a mistake and that though eight Lynn University students arrived in Fort Lauderdale last night, Britney was not one of them.
It is now a Journey of Hope for the world, CherylAnn and her family.
Britney Gengel, please be alive.
2 Dec The New Boss-Dynamo or Dudsville?
by Laurie Schloff,
Senior Coaching Partner
Hal Gordon, a member of The Professional Speakers group on LinkedIN provoked my thinking about what style of leadership is working well these days.
Mr. Gordon prompted us to reflect on the November 12 issue of the Economist, which included a fascinating article on “The Cult of the Faceless Boss.” According to the article, the recent economic downturn has caused companies to reject flamboyant CEOs in favor of executives described as “humble, self-effacing, diligent and resolute souls.”
If this trend continues, says the Economist, it is only a matter of time before somebody writes The Management Secrets of Uriah Heep: be ‘umble, be ever so ‘umble.”
The Economist deplores this trend. “In general,” says the article, “the corporate world needs its flamboyant visionaries and raging egomaniacs rather more than its humble leaders and corporate civil servants.”
What style of boss behavior do you think we need in these times?
Is it possible to be ever so humble and dynamic at the same time?
Do you know anyone who fits the bill?
Send us your thoughts.