11 Jan “We Waste A Lot of Time at Our Meetings”
You have plenty of company. According to numerous surveys, most businesspeople view meetings as boring, un-productive, and a waste of time. (In one poll, 43 percent of executives admitted to having dozed off at a meeting at least once.) Some view meetings as downright unbearable. Is it possible to leave a meeting feeling refreshed, with a heightened sense of teamwork, and ready to take constructive action? Use this diagnostic test and follow up with the necessary cure. There can be more to look forward to than danish and coffee. (more…)
8 Nov I Say “um” Too Much
Vocalized pauses or fillers, including um, uh, ah, and their close relatives like, you know, and OK? are some of the most common concerns brought to a speech coach. We don’t um want to uh get too um picky here, since 1 to 3 percent of everyone’s speech normally contains hesitations, and folks like Ted Kennedy have spoken successfully in public life despite long aah pauses. However, a bad case of um-itis makes you annoying to listen to. So why do so many of us um along in life? Most often, vocalized pauses function as a way to fill up space as we formulate the next thought. Though old habits take some time to break, it is possible to banish the ums and ahs forever. (more…)
10 Mar How do best in class organizations prepare speakers
Senior Speech Coaches Laurie Schloff, Tori Hollingworth, and Dr. Ethan F. Becker are on-site at a conference and during a break got together to share the “behind the scenes” of what happens at big conferences. How do those speakers nail it? It may look like they are winging it, but very few do! How do best in class organizations prepare all of their speakers? Find out how and why on this episode of Talking about Talking! Running time 14 minutes. (more…)
8 Mar What Google can learn from Communication Coaches
A recent New York Times Magazine article (Group Study by Charles Duhigg 2/25/16) discussed the Google Project Aristotle, a painstaking, in-depth study of what differentiates high functioning team meetings from stagnant, ineffective ones.
With all due respect (more…)
25 Feb Is it positive to be negative at work?
Do you have to deal with an abusive colleague or boss? Someone who’s sarcasm is just a bit too much? Listen to Ethan Becker and Laurie Schloff discuss the issue.
10 Jul 5 Reasons to Say Goodbye to Shy
By Laurie Schloff, Senior Coaching Partner
There’s nothing wrong with introspection – some of the time. Most of us fall somewhere on the shyness spectrum, ranging from folks who are quiet by choice (or because they’re afraid of expressing themselves) to people who are reflective and choose to use their words sparingly. Wherever you fit on the shyness spectrum, you will probably benefit from learning outgoing behaviors and practicing a more forthcoming communication style. Here are five reasons to say goodbye to shy:
1. More opportunities. People who are shy tend to be less successful professionally than their more gregarious counterparts. There’s a strong association between possessing good communication skills (that is, expressing ideas clearly, showing support and concern for others, coming across well in interviews) and upward mobility. In these tough economic times, it’s even more critical to have an edge on getting (or keeping) a job offer or the chance for a promotion. And, for freelancers, better communication skills can keep those assignments coming your way.
2. You’ll feel better. People who have positive interpersonal relationships at work and outside of work are healthier and enjoy a better quality of life. The more you deepen your connection to others, through talking and nonverbal communication, the more you’ll have a sense of well being. You don’t necessarily have to maintain an active social life with lots of partying, if that’s not your preference – but several key relationships will be good for you, in the long run, even if developing those connections cause you stress in the short term.
3. Feelings of mastery. Learning skills for overcoming shyness and being a good conversationalist adds to the toolbox that you can use anywhere, anytime. These tools include skills in initiating conversations, continuing conversations, ending conversations, networking, contributing to a conversation, and showing an interest in others. You can pull out these tools, as you require them, to be a better manager, employee, or friend. Once you’ve mastered these social skills, you can use them, and reuse them, in different ways throughout your life.
4. You deserve to be noticed. The speaking wheel gets the grease, and the wallflower stands alone. Just because you’re a quieter person, why should you be denied the goodies that some of the more talkative people get? Leave shyness behind, and people will be more interested in talking to you, they’ll seek you out for business networking, and you’ll be noticed in terms of attracting friends and potentially a mate. And that’s just the beginning!
5. You’ll be better appreciated. Shyness too frequently is misinterpreted as arrogance or snobbishness. Having a friendly and open facial expression, including smiling, is the most important ingredient in being seen as approachable and likeable. Everyone, whether shy or not, wants to be liked. Take a shot at it. Sometimes, all it takes is changing your countenance to change people’s response to you – and to open the door to meaningful connections.
It may require effort to leave your shyness behind, but the rewards are instantaneous. If you walk down the street and smile, 9 times out of ten, you’ll receive a smile in return. This signals that you’re on your way to becoming a friendly and approachable person – and it’s as easy as taking that first step and putting a smile on your face.