Just as breakfast is often considered the most important meal of the day, analyzing who is listening to us speak is one of the most important parts of speech preparation. Unfortunately, as with breakfast, analyzing who is listening to them is a step speakers often skip.

Generally, when an executive is asked to be on a panel, give a keynote, appear on a podcast, or even present to a board of directors, they go straight to content. While this is not incorrect, if you do so without considering the listener’s needs, your impact will not be as strong.

You may be asking, “So, how do I make sure I get this right?” Here are some simple tips for understanding your listener.

Think about the listener, not yourself.

Much like grabbing a coffee on the go seems like a good breakfast replacement, it’s easy to fall into a trap of obsessing over the content you believe you need to cover. The time that it takes can cover as much as doomscrolling on social media.

Aristotle gave some great advice: Focus on the people you’re addressing.

Ask yourself: Who are my listeners? What is their demographic *age, race, gender, orientation, education, etc. How many will be listening? What is their prior knowledge of my topic? Why should they listen to you? What’s in it for them? How will what you are speaking about help them?

Before you begin preparing, consider your overall goal. Do you want to inspire? teach? inform? persuade?

Taking all of this into consideration before you write will help you focus on the listener rather than yourself.

They connect with their listeners’ emotions.

That coffee on the go may bring you happiness, but how does it impact those around you? When preparing for a presentation, in your mind, the subject of your talk may be quarterly sales, company policy, or your amazing invention. Your audience, however, is focused on an entirely different topic; why does all this matter to them?

Aristotle identifies pathos as one of the three essential modes of proof by his statement that “to understand the emotions”.

To be a successful speaker, you need to add the persuasive element of Pathos into your presentation, rather than rambling about what you feel is important. Talk with your listener. Bring them into the subject. Make them feel the benefit you’re giving them through your presentation. Make an emotional connection with them.

Using emotional connection through your word choice will give you a greater impact on your listener.

They speak in their listeners’ language.

Whether you order an Espresso, a latte, or an Americano, there’s no arguing that it is created from coffee beans. Getting your audience to accept your words and ideas depends on how credible they find you.

“When speakers behave inappropriately,” wrote Aristotle, “their credibility is questioned even when they speak the truth.”

Credibility not only comes from status and source citations, but also from word choice and physical presence while presenting.

If your listener thinks in kilometers, don’t explain something in miles. If they work in spreadsheets, don’t speak in metaphors alone. If they’re parents, show them how it affects families. If they’re scientists, show them the data.

It’s less about changing your message and more about translating it.

In the end, great speaking isn’t about having the most slides, the smartest data, or the sharpest soundbite. It’s about resonance. As Aristotle understood centuries ago, persuasion lives at the intersection of logic, credibility, and emotion, but all three only matter if they land with the listener.

A balanced breakfast fuels you. A listener-centered message fuels impact.

Credibility is a building block for many communication goals, such as persuading, educating, and informing others. Whether you are pitching to a VC, working to develop new partnerships, or convincing a patient to listen to your medical advice, establishing and strengthening your credibility lays a strong foundation to help you reach your communication goals.

In a previous blog, I explained how to boost your credibility through the content you deliver. A second way to boost your credibility is with your delivery of that content. You can demonstrate the elements of credibility: your expertise, trustworthiness, and goodwill, simply by the way that you speak, move, and gesture.

First, delivering with confidence will show your expertise. Speaking with the confidence you have rightfully earned as an expert in your subject will go a long way toward being viewed as a credible source. For example, learning to manage the nerves that lead to a shaky voice can make all the difference in sounding confident. One of the most important things I do with clients is to watch them speak and identify elements of their delivery that we can strengthen together.

Second, speaking comfortably and confidently in front of others shows that you are trustworthy. Recently, I saw a new dermatologist and although he seemed to know his stuff about skin, he also seemed nervous talking to me. If I had been coaching him, I would suggest he practice making eye contact. Appearing nervous can take away from a speaker’s trustworthiness.

Third, goodwill can be shown in delivery by employing the proper tone, showing your passion for the subject, and nonverbally demonstrating care for the listeners. If you are a financial planner, you need to choose when to take a serious tone. For many people, money is a serious topic, so ensuring that your passion for this topic takes on a serious tone will establish that you have goodwill toward the listeners.

There are many ways to build credibility. Consider how you can demonstrate expertise, trustworthiness, and goodwill in the way you speak and move. If you aren’t sure what elements of your delivery need to be changed or improved, a communication coach makes an excellent partner in identifying and strengthening how you come across to listeners.

When there’s a consistent communication disconnect between you and someone on your team, no matter who reports to whom, there’s a good chance that threat and defensiveness are at play. Often, it’s not even conscious.

Competition and negative reinforcement can drive short-term performance, but long-term success depends on opening communication channels.

Start by asking yourself: What about me might be threatening to this person? The answer can be surprising.

Maybe they admire you yet feel intimidated by your abilities.

Maybe you speak too quickly… jump through too many technical details… or come across as too brief in conversation. Even small patterns can create unintended tension.

Once you have an idea, make a small adjustment.

Slow your speaking rate, pause longer before responding.

For example: briefly explain why a request matters.

Sometimes it’s as simple as softening your tone, offering a smile, or acknowledging their point before moving forward.

These subtle cues build psychological safety. When they notice your effort, they’ll appreciate it, even if it’s a bit awkward.

Then, take it one step further: validate them by first observing closely what they emphasize when making decisions and noting details they care about. Listen for repeated themes, ask clarifying questions if needed, and reflect back what you notice. Next, find one small, consistent thing they do (especially something others probably overlook) and express genuine appreciation for it, making your validation specific and authentic.

It might be as simple as how they organize their notes, the way they prepare a meeting space, or even the kind of paperclips they always use. Recognition of that detail makes them feel seen. And here’s the bonus: every time they repeat that behavior, they’ll feel a quiet neurochemical echo of that validation.

This isn’t just easing tension—it’s building trust.

Even for those who are already very good communicators, there is always room to level up. Below I discuss three areas in which communicators can grow in effectiveness. Understanding even one of these is a good step toward growth. You should…

KNOW THAT FAMILIARITY AFFECTS COMMUNICATION

There is a huge difference between communicating with people you know and people who do not know you. I am a longtime soccer fan and a soccer coach, so I watch a lot of soccer games. One thing anyone can see when watching soccer is the difference between teams that have played together for a long time and teams that were just put together for a tournament. The familiarity gained from practicing together makes things flow more smoothly.

Communication is the same: when you gain familiarity with others, communication can flow more smoothly. When you are not familiar with others, you need to work harder to have an effective interaction. The first step is awareness of the difference between these two groups. With listeners who do not know you, you will need to work harder to…

REMOVE BARRIERS FOR THE LISTENER

Much of our expertise in speech communication focuses on how to help listeners hear the important information you, the speaker, want to communicate to them! A catchphrase in our company is “It’s not about YOU”—meaning that, as speakers, we are often very self-centered, focusing on what we are going to say and how we are going to say it. This is to the detriment of the listener because what is good for the speaker is often not good for the listener.

For example, putting lots of words on your slides can be a comfort for the speaker. Many speakers want to deliver a lot of information, especially if they are experts in their topic. They want to make sure they include all of that information on the slide. However, having lots of words on slides can create cognitive overload for the listeners, making their job of understanding the speaker harder. If the job of listening gets too difficult, people simply stop doing it!

Too much information in the presentation and on the slides makes the task of listening too difficult. Carefully curating the information you will present enables your listeners to understand your message better. To more effectively determine what information you should include, you need to…

PRACTICE THINKING ABOUT THE OTHER PERSON

Thinking about the other person does not come naturally; we tend to be self-focused. To be an effective communicator, you need to think hard about what it is that will help the listener be able to hear you. Is the listener an expert? Is the listener pressed for time? Does the listener know you personally? All of these will change the way you communicate.

Getting into the practice of considering the listener is a good first step to communicating more effectively, whether it is with your familiar teammates or a new group of listeners. Remember: with a little effort, you can always improve.

As an executive communication coach, I often talk with clients about the importance of credibility or ethos for speakers. If you want people to listen to, care about, and be persuaded by what you say, it is incredibly important to establish credibility with your listeners. If you’re an executive, you are certainly experienced and have many credentials and degrees, but listing those verbally can be boring and at worst may be seen as pretentious!

How do you demonstrate credibility when speaking beyond listing your credentials, degrees, or position? Research in this area breaks credibility down into expertise, trustworthiness, and goodwill of the speaker. One way to boost your credibility across these areas when speaking: with your content.

First, carefully choose and organize your content to demonstrate that you have expertise in this subject area. Show that you have done your homework and are familiar and comfortable with this subject. This starts with clarity and organization of your content to help listeners follow you.

Second, ensure accurate content to establish that you are trustworthy.This means no made-up facts! Accuracy shows that you can be trusted to tell the truth.

Third, show that you feel goodwill toward the listeners. One way you can do this is to admit when you do not know something. Doing so shows you would rather admit your own (small) weakness than send the listeners astray. And of course, you will find the answer and get back to them, because you care about them.

There are many ways to build credibility. Consider how you can integrate expertise, trustworthiness, and goodwill to show listeners you are a credible source of information. If you aren’t sure how to do so, a communication coach makes an excellent partner in strengthening your organization, accuracy, and ability to answer questions.

Attending a professional conference can be a powerful way to expand your network, showcase your expertise, and open doors to new opportunities. However, the benefits don’t come automatically. The key is thoughtful preparation. Here are actionable tips to ensure you maximize your time and investment at your next conference:

1. Strategize Your Connections – Make a Target List:Review the attendee and speaker lists before the conference. Identify the people you want to connect with—aim high! This could include industry leaders, potential mentors, or collaborators.
2. Research and Prepare:Learn about their work, challenges, or interests. This preparation will enable you to ask insightful, specific questions demonstrating your knowledge and genuine interest.
3. Craft Your Conversation Starters:Unique and Relevant Questions: Think beyond clichés. Prepare questions that allow others to share their expertise and shine. For example, instead of asking, “What do you do?” try, “I saw your recent work on [specific project/topic]. What inspired that direction?”
4. Be Ready to Listen:While preparation is crucial, listening during sessions or conversations can help you craft more thoughtful, relevant questions.
5. Polish Your Personal Presentation – Dress with Intention:Your attire communicates before you speak. Choose clothing that aligns with your professional goals and sends the right message.
6. Add a Conversation Piece:Consider a unique accessory, such as a printed tie, a bold scarf, or a lapel pin. These small touches can spark easy conversations and help you stand out.
7. Be Prepared to Speak ‘The Language of Benefit’ – Focus on Value:Be ready to articulate how who you are or what you do is beneficial to the person you’re speaking with. Why should they listen to you or care about what you’re saying? If you can’t find a reason, it’s best not to engage.  Example: Instead of saying, “I’m a software developer,” you could say, “I help companies streamline their operations by creating custom software solutions that save time and reduce errors.” This reframes your role in terms of the benefit it provides.
8. Be Strategic in Sessions – Prioritize Key Sessions:Aim to attend talks by the most well-known speakers or on topics that align with your goals. Arrive early to secure a good seat and prepare to ask a thoughtful question.
9. Have Backup Questions:If someone else asks your question, have a second one ready. This ensures you’re still able to engage meaningfully.
10. Make Every Conversation Count – Wrap Up with an Action:Don’t let the conversation end without a next step. A simple but effective close is, “May I connect with you on LinkedIn?” Set a specific follow-up, like sending an article or scheduling a call if appropriate.
11. Remember, It’s Just the Beginning – Focus on the Long Game:Conversations with important leaders are just the starting point. When handled well, they can lead to future engagements.
12. Keep It Simple:Avoid launching into a full business idea or plan during an initial interaction. Instead, offer a teaser and ask for another meeting.
13. Build Credibility and Trust:Earning trust takes time and effort. Use the face-to-face opportunity at conferences as a powerful foundation for deeper relationships.
14. Maximize ROI:The Power of Preparation. Conferences require significant investment in time, energy, and money. To make the most of it: Plan Who to Meet: Don’t leave networking to chance.
15. Prepare What to Say:Tailor your questions and conversations to stand out.
16. Think Ahead:From your attire to your follow-up actions, intentionality ensures you leave a lasting impression.

With thoughtful preparation, you’ll turn a simple conference into a launchpad for meaningful connections and career growth. Don’t just attend—excel!

Tip #1: Enhance Your Professionalism Through Thoughtful Greetings and Endings Want to project more confidence in professional settings? Start by mastering your greetings. Instead of casual “Hey” or “What’s up,” opt for formal greetings like “Good morning” or “Good afternoon.” These greetings convey respect and instantly elevate the tone. For instance, swap “Hey, how’s it going?” with “Good morning, how are you today?” This subtle shift can make a big difference, highlighting your professionalism and attentiveness.      Remember, a formal closure is equally important. Instead of a casual “All right, see ya!” try “Thank you for your time today, [name]. I appreciate it.” While it may seem like a minor detail, incorporating these simple yet powerful greetings can significantly boost your professional image and communication skills. Try it in your next professional interaction.

Tip #2: Don’t tip the scales with data-heavy presentations In my work with high-performing C-level leaders in financial services, I’ve noticed a common pitfall in presentations: an overload of data. While data is crucial for establishing credibility, incorporating personal elements like stories, examples, and appropriate humor is key. Connecting on a human level alongside expertise is vital for engagement and impact.      Research from Scientific American highlights how people’s brain waves can synchronize during interaction. This synchronization reflects a deeper connection beyond words, shaping how we interpret and respond to shared experiences. Read the full study here.Remember: embracing imperfection, adding spontaneity, and revealing vulnerabilities can make presentations more relatable and memorable. Building trust through authenticity is fundamental for fostering strong relationships.

Tip #3: Think about the required level of preparation.I particularly enjoy supporting high-performing companies during their annual global meetings. Our clients often wonder, “How much preparation should you do?” The short answer: your preparation should match the importance of the event. For a quick 2-minute update or an informal meeting with trusted colleagues, a few minutes of prep might suffice. For a high-stakes meeting where you want to demonstrate trusted-advisor leadership, begin preparing at least two weeks in advance.    Remember: there are no strict rules, but adequate preparation is crucial to appear confident, speak confidently, and build trust. Your effort will pay off in making a lasting impression.

Tip #4: Don’t play Hot Potato when answering questions In a recent one-on-one coaching session with a senior executive, we discussed a common tendency when getting a question lobbed at you. Many of us, including this Executive, tend to answer extremely fast and then lob it back. We laughed when we realized how similar it is to the children’s game ‘Hot Potato.’

Does anyone remember that game? When I was a kid, we played with a balled-up sock, so it was as low-tech as you could get! The goal was to throw back the “potato” as soon as it was tossed your way to stay safe when the rhyme finished. (“…If you have the hot potato, YOU-ARE-IT!”)    If you answer a question immediately and barely even take a moment to pause, you are missing an opportunity to show thoughtfulness and share an insightful response. The goal is NOT to answer fast and get the spotlight off you! By not rushing to throw the ‘potato,’ you value the conversation and the person asking the question. Remember, your role as a listener is just as important as a speaker in fostering a meaningful discussion. Instead, when you are asked a question: Listen, pause, think, THEN respond.       The pause can be short; 1-3 seconds helps you gain composure. No hot potato toss is needed. Take your time.

Tip #5: Add Reflection Points to your company meetingsAs an executive coach, I love exploring topics people haven’t considered until they take a moment to slow down and reflect. It’s like meeting with a trainer at the gym and taking time to consider your short- and long-term goals Recently, I spoke with a successful IT executive who shared his strategy to make meetings more productive. He does a regular “tech overhaul” and thinks about why the meeting is important and whether it could be executed in a way other than as a meeting. He calls these “Reflection Points.”

Adding brief reflection points to your agenda can make meetings more intentional, efficient, and impactful.

As a communication coach, I help people speak clearly and connect with their listeners. When we’re explaining something technical, an idiom can make the message easier to grasp. And when we’re trying to make a point without sounding too direct, an idiom can paint a vivid picture.

But here’s the catch: idioms can backfire. If they’re unfamiliar or confusing, the speaker ends up working harder to get the message across, and risk losing trust or credibility in the process.

Idioms and stories both simplify complex ideas, and create mental pictures for the listener. An idiom is like compressed wisdom, a quick phrase that assumes shared understanding. A story, on the other hand, builds that understanding by showing the lesson in action. While idioms are fast and familiar, they can confuse if the listener doesn’t know the reference. Stories take a little more time, but they invite connection and leave a deeper impact. If an idiom is a spark, a story is the fire that keeps people listening.

An idiom is a phrase or expression with a meaning different from the literal words. For example, “spill the beans” means to reveal a secret, but if someone hasn’t heard that phrase before, it can leave them puzzled.

A recent Wall Street Journal article, “The Ford Executive Who Kept Score of Colleagues’ Verbal Flubs,” highlights how even experienced professionals can misuse idiomatic language, leading to confusion or unintentional humor. Mike O’Brien, a sales executive at Ford, kept track of over 2,000 verbal flubs from colleagues, phrases like “Let’s not reinvent the ocean,” or “I don’t want to sound like a broken drum here.” These moments show how tricky idioms can be when they miss the mark.

While idioms can add color and personality to our speech, they may also leave some listeners behind, especially if they’re from a different part of the world, or even just a different cultural background.

Misunderstood phrases can subtly erode our credibility and make it harder to build trust.

To communicate more clearly and inclusively:

1. Be mindful of your listeners: Consider whether your audience will understand the idioms you use. When in doubt, leave it out.
2. Use idioms wisely: They can be great tools, but only if they support your message and are easy to follow.
3. Encourage feedback: Invite questions and clarification. That openness builds connection and shows respect.

Being intentional with your language helps you connect rather than confuse. The goal is always to be understood and to make your listeners feel included.

For many professionals attending a conference, the role isn’t as a panelist or keynote speaker. Instead, your time is likely spent in a series of 30-minute meetings, introducing yourself and your company while exploring potential connections. Often, you may not even have the chance to attend the main conference presentations.

This dynamic creates both a unique opportunity and a challenge: how do you maximize the impact of those brief, high-stakes conversations, while effectively representing your firm?

Conferences offer much more than networking-they’re a powerful opportunity to sharpen your communication skills, build credibility, and position yourself for growth within your firm and the industry. As a communication coach, I outline key strategies for success that go beyond the surface.

While many dread these meetings or see them as boring and repetitive, I encourage you to look at them differently: think of them as a communication laboratory-a place to practice, refine, and build the muscle memory that strengthens your confidence for other high-stakes meetings.

Here are a few top-level tips to help you prepare, make the most of your time, and build lasting experience.

1.     Prepare Strategically for 30-Minute Meetings

Success at a conference starts before you even walk through the door. Preparation ensures that your time in those short meetings is productive and leaves a lasting impression.

• Research Attendees and Objectives – Know who you’re meeting, what their firm does, and how they might align with your firm’s goals. Preparation, not perspiration, gives you confidence and allows for more meaningful conversations.
• Nail Your Company Pitch – In two minutes or less, deliver your company’s story. What makes you unique in the market? What kinds of deals make you stand out? Highlight key areas of focus. Be bold! Record yourself and listen back to ensure you’re including the most compelling points and delivering them with confidence.
• Come Ready to Listen – Prepare thoughtful questions that show genuine interest in the other person. Great communication is as much about listening as it is about speaking.

2.     Make the Most of Brief Interactions

With only 30 minutes or less, it’s critical to be intentional and focused.

• Stay Present and Engaged – Avoid overloading the conversation with too much detail. Be concise, relevant, and actively listen to the other person’s responses.
• Use Nonverbal Communication – A firm handshake, an opening smile, confident eye contact, and open body language reinforce your professionalism and make a strong first impression. Aligning your nonverbal and verbal delivery is crucial, as we often listen with our eyes.
• Project Verbal Confidence – Your voice is a powerful tool. Use vocal inflection to emphasize key points, maintain a strong and steady volume and slow down your pace to convey clarity and authority. These small adjustments build trust and ensure your message is heard.

3.     Build Credibility, Even Without a Stage

Conferences are a proving ground, even if you’re not presenting. Use every interaction to build your professional brand and strengthen your firm’s reputation.

• Represent Your Company’s Ethos – The way you communicate reflects not just your personal professionalism but also the firm’s values. Align your messaging with the culture and strengths of your organization.
• Be a Connector – If the opportunity arises, offer to connect others or share helpful insights. Being a connector positions you as a team player and someone who adds value beyond the immediate conversation.

This mindset positions you as a thoughtful communicator and proactive leader, qualities essential for success within your firm and the broader industry.

Treat conferences as opportunities to refine your skills and build connections-you’re investing in your career and your firm’s future.

Speak with confidence!

If you are a manager or supervisor of people, communication is the foundation of what you do. Unfortunately, many managers underestimate the value of the communication coming from the people below them in their organization—theirdirect reports.

Yet those at the bottom level of organizations—front-line workers—have a front-row seat to issues that arise on the most basic level for organizations. So why do managers so often fail to listen to their direct reports when it comes to proposing new ways of doing things that solve organizational problems?

Put briefly, thinking from the Industrial Age suggests that workers are just cogs in the machine, not thinkers with ideas that can be useful. Therefore, these front-line workers should do their jobs and keep their mouths shut. This thinking limits the possibilities for organizations to surface and solve problems that managers and those higher up in the organizations may not realize exist. Instead, managers should engage in a healthy dose of “Fear of Missing Out” (FOMO) and tap into this hidden resource.

All it takes to do so is a simple communication skill: listening. Inviting your direct reports to share ideas and solutions with you and then truly listening can go a long way toward improving the whole company.

Here are the steps to excellent listening:

• First, get ready to listen. You must prepare yourself to put aside other concerns in your mind and open it to hearing what this person is trying to share with you.
• Second, pay attention! Remove yourself from any distractions–screens or anything else–and fully place your focus on your direct report.
• Third, control your biases. Forget that this person is “below you” on the food chain and imagine they are a highly-paid consultant who has closely analyzed your business.
• Fourth, separate fact from feeling. Recognize what can be observed (seen, touched, counted) as fact and what is a feeling or an evaluation by yourself or another person.
• Fifth, use paralanguage. Encourage the speaker with your non-verbal cues and your tone of voice as you respond to them.
• Finally, paraphrase back to the speaker. To make sure you have understood their meaning, from their point of view, rephrase back to them what you believe they have said. And then give them an opportunity to correct you if you have misunderstood.

Changing the way you view your direct reports can yield unexpected benefits and solutions to problems you didn’t even know were there. All it takes is careful attention to listening when an opportunity arises. Now,go forth and listen!