Welcome to the one way conversation club. Though plenty of men turn somersaults to get conversational action going with their mates, more often women end up exasperated with silent partners. It’s not that women bore men - watch a man salivate over her every syllable...
If you view the listeners as piranhas, you’ll grab any chance to avoid looking them in the eye. Lisa, a friendly, charming woman who had just been elected president of a large national church group, was dreading her first talk to the state leaders in...
How many decisions do you make in a day? Hundreds, maybe thousands, maybe many thousands…?
Both sexes can perpetrate and suffer interruptions. Yet researchers in the art of communication have repeatedly found that from the age of three on, males tend to interrupt and females tend to pass the conversational ball. The right to interrupt or dominate a conversation often serves as an expression of superiority or status. Nevertheless, when women yield the floor to men, it is not so much a display of inferiority as an indication of the importance they attach to accommodating others in conversation.
Even conversationally accommodating people can come off as interlopers. Women like to overlap a speaker with words of encouragement, agreement, or a parallel situation. (“I know what you mean, Bill. My family also had to struggle to make ends meet.”) Though she intends to establish empathy, she may annoy a man who doesn’t value verbal displays of support. (“That wasn’t my point. Let me finish.”)
Why do people ask difficult questions?
Thinking about fear of public speaking medication? Consider these 5 points.
1. Medication can reduce the uncomfortable physiological signs of nervousness (heart rate increase, sweating, shakiness).
Three other approaches: learning effective presentation skills, controlling breathing, and developing helpful thinking patterns are proven non-medical strategies.
2. Beta blockers, originally developed to control cardiac problems, are often effective and can usually be prescribed on an as needed basis.
Beta blockers inhibit the flow of adrenaline in the body, reducing the physical symptoms of the stress response. Your physician will help you decide whether medication is the best route for you, and can review any potential side effects.
Storytelling is an advanced communication tool that can build rapport, increase retention and powerfully persuade. Capturing, structuring and delivering relevant stories is an invaluable skill in business. 1.) Building Rapport - Experiences are unique; however, emotions are universal. Telling a short, interesting, personal story allows the...
To be a hi-impact leader in today’s financial healthcare industry requires confidence and grit. How do you hold your own in situations where there are clearly power politics? Financial folks are now more involved in giving presentations, speaking at meetings to clinicians, senior management, and...
When a tragedy happens there is a lot of talk. Many people are highlighted, and many issues are discussed. The Parkland School shooting is no exception to this. Since the shooting we have seen politicians, pundits, analysts, and now students getting time to speak about...
Are you dropping your volume at the end of sentences?
It is normal to soften your volume at the end of a thought, but don’t trail your sentences into oblivion. Assess your volume by recording yourself and checking to make sure you can hear the last words of your sentences. Practice speaking or reading aloud with conscious attention on lessening the decibel drop. Use these practice sentences:
“Let’s meet in the lobby of the downtown Marriott.”
“Sarah James was finally promoted to regional manager.”
In these examples, if you don’t keep your volume up, you’ll be swallowing your main point. Are you jumbling words together?
In meetings today, getting talk time can be a challenge. Often there are levels of seniority and cultures that do not promote just anyone jumping in to speak. So when you speak, you must make sure you make a comment that will have some teeth in it. One that will resonate with the rest of the team and ideally one that will leave them feeling you contributed something of value. After all, you are at the meeting for a reason: what you think and contribute is valued by your colleagues.
I coach my clients to answer the following question: "What does it mean to be a high level communicator?"
Here are the three key aspects:
Hate speech can hurt your employees… and your bottom line. It’s an almost sure bet that people in your organization, and maybe on your team, are hearing, reading, and actively discussing the issues both in and outside of the workplace. And, unfortunately, some may be engaging...
In this day and age, we each have the ability to shape and direct our communication to create a "personal brand." Communication-style coaching is the path to creating the way you want others to think of you. I help executives do this by choosing the "style words" that define their own personal style, something that they can vary depending on the listener.
Ideally I recommend choosing two words. The first is a word from a business perspective: smart, knowledgeable, intelligent, credible, authoritative. The second word is a behavioral or “human” word: friendly, approachable, personable, engaging, dynamic, charismatic. Sometimes, we suggest a third word: confident.
For communication-style coaching to be successful, it’s important to choose style words that you believe in, and are comfortable for you.
“With respect to style words, the one that has resonated with me the most over the years is ‘approachable’. That might not sound like much, but the distinction between being ‘friendly’ and being ‘approachable’, to me at any rate, is that when you’re approachable, you’ve (internally, at least) established a level of seniority/accomplishment – you’re happy to share your knowledge/wisdom/what have you, but not just because you’re a nice person. I think about that mostly from the everyday communication. I really encourage junior people to participate on panels, etc., whenever possible, even if it’s not a marquee event, to get that practice, so when the big moments come, you are better prepared.“ - Managing Director, National hedge fund
Go easy on your expectations here. A group of people who have been chatting awhile have already put energy into establishing a conversational rhythm. So when a newcomer appears, the group minimizes having to adjust or backtrack by politely but slowly easing in a new conversational contender. If you have concluded that breaking into a conversational group can be difficult, you're right. But the cause usually is not rudeness, just a desire to continue a momentum that is satisfying.
I prefer the term "joining a group" rather than "breaking in" because your attitude needs to be adaptive, not aggressive. The degree to which the group resists an outsider depends on the intimacy shared by the conversers, their previous bonding as a group, and the group's perception of your status relative to theirs. For example, a college student walking over to a group of professors who are conversing will most likely get a brief, polite response, then a buzz-off signal as the profs continue to talk shop.
[vc_row row_type="row" use_row_as_full_screen_section="no" type="full_width" angled_section="no" text_align="left" background_image_as_pattern="without_pattern" css_animation=""][vc_column][vc_column_text]The most annoying word or phrase in America is… We can’t tell you just yet. But the results are in on this year’s closely-watched Marist Poll. If you’re not familiar with it, their website states “The Marist College Institute...