27 Feb How to Get Your Listeners to Participate
A Chinese proverb says, “Tell me something, I’ll forget; show me, I’ll remember; involve me, I’ll understand.”
According to recent studies, when people participate in a presentation, the material becomes at least three times more memorable for them than if they merely listened to a lecture.
Sometimes you risk losing listeners altogether if you don’t go out of your way to involve members.
6 Dec Am I supposed to be a mind reader?
Jeff and Nina were at a Christmas party all of the thirty seconds when Nina whispered in Jeff’s ear, “I think Joan [one of the women in Jeff’s office] is getting divorced.” Jeff thought Nina was nuts, but a week later Joan herself told him that she had separated from her husband. When Jeff asked his mystical wife how she knew, Nina said, “Easy. She looked relaxed, had a great new haircut, and was playing with her wedding ring.”
For centuries, women’s interpersonal discernment has been acknowledged as “women’s intuition.” Now researchers have confirmed females’ superior skill in interpreting gestures, posture, and facial expression from fifth grade through adulthood. Since men in traditionally female professions like teaching and nursing excel in mood reading too, it’s not due to chromosomes but to socialization in pleasing others and practice in adjusting to others’ moods.
8 Nov Improving Your Speech Patterns
Working as a speech coach, one of the successful techniques I use to help people speak clearly is to figure out where there may be snags in their speech patterns. Here are two of the most common.
1. Are you dropping volume at the end of sentences?
It is normal to soften your volume at the end of a thought, but don’t trail your sentences into oblivion. Assess your volume by taping yourself and checking to make sure you can hear the last words of your sentences. Practice speaking or reading aloud with conscious attention on lessening the decibel drop. Use these practice sentences:
“Let’s meet in the lobby of the downtown Marriott.”
“Sarah James was finally promoted to regional manager.”
In these examples, if you don’t keep your volume up, you’ll be swallowing your main point.
20 Aug Why doesn’t she appreciate my advice?
In Nan and Billy’s house it goes like this:
Nan: I wish I could find a cause to get into, maybe volunteering or just doing something worth-while.
Billy: So call the College Club – I heard they need help, and the hospital gift shop might be looking for volunteers.
Nan: Forget it, you don’t even know what I’m interested in.
Billy: Geez! Why bring it up if you don’t want my opinion?
Billy means well, and his ideas might be valid, but Nan finds his approach annoying. In giving advice you anoint yourself as an authority, and if no one asked for it, you come across as know-it-all. More important, like many women, Nan is (more…)
10 Jul I’m always more interested in talking than he is
Welcome to the one way conversation club. Though plenty of men turn somersaults to get conversational action going with their mates, more often women end up exasperated with silent partners. It’s not that women bore men – watch a man salivate over her every syllable on a long-awaited first date. Rather, whereas women tend to need a daily dose of conversational closeness, men value just being together and doing things together, even mundane activities like eating quietly side by side. For guys, verbal interaction is one part, and not necessarily the most important part, of the whole relationship picture. This frustrates women who judge closeness by the number of words exchanged per evening. If wives and girlfriends had their druthers, the time couples spend in conversation would surely rise from its measly weekly average of nineteen – yes, nineteen – minutes. (more…)
28 Jun Where Should I Look When I’m Speaking to a Group?
If you view the listeners as piranhas, you’ll grab any chance to avoid looking them in the eye. Lisa, a friendly, charming woman who had just been elected president of a large national church group, was dreading her first talk to the state leaders in her organization. She asked me if it was OK to aim her speech at the clock in the back of the church she’d be speaking in. “Surely,” I suggested, “you can find a face in the audience more friendly than the one on the clock. (more…)