25 Aug Perception is Reality…At Least for the Moment
I always remind my clients that “everything communicates”. How you appear in that moment, and sound in that moment to your listener, send a message about you.
The ability to be natural, who you are, and authentic, this is most people’s goal. I believe a great way to reach that goal is to: strengthen your ability to control the impression you make on others. Perception is reality…. At least for the moment you are communicating it.
So the question is how does one control this in a world where so many things feel beyond our control?
Get ready- because taking your communication effectiveness to its next level is a 3 Level process.
Level one: Self-awareness. What is the current message you are sending? How are you projecting confidence and what may be taking away from that? Often my clients will say, “ I don’t like the sound of my voice” or “I never watch myself on video”. If you don’t hear it or see it, how can you know what is working? Level one for many is the hardest part. Be brave.
Try this: Turn your video on your phone and deliver a message to yourself, maybe it’s a quick business update or a voice message you’re about to leave. Watch it back. Grab a piece of paper and draw a line down the center. (more…)
28 Mar Creating Muscle Memory
When I work with clients on strengthening their communication effectiveness, I’m often asked, “How can I make these new tools come more naturally?”
I assure them that when they carve out time to practice they are creating ‘muscle memory’. Muscle memory is something we often take for granted, yet it’s there and if harnessed, we can use it anytime to project confidence in doing any task. Obvious examples include putting your car key into the ignition, zipping a jacket, brushing our teeth. Any habit repeated dozens or hundreds of times creates muscle memory.
This muscle memory comes in a 3 part process: Level 1 is self awareness: “What am I doing that is working well and what areas do I need to develop?” This is often the most challenging part of a learning process. If unsure, ask people you trust what they feel you do well and could strengthen. (more…)
1 Mar Why Doesn’t Bill Belichick Smile?
In his TED talk, The Hidden Power of Smiling, Ron Gutman provides some insights into the proven value of smiling.
We are born smiling. Using 3D ultrasound, we can see developing babies smile in the womb. When born, they continue to smile. A smile is one of the most basic expressions of all humans and it is the fastest way to build trust and rapport during face-to-face interactions.
OK, so why doesn’t Bill Belichick smile? What would he be revealing? Especially with the Media, he knows how to be brief, be good, be gone. Yet he almost never seems happy. I believe this is his strategy. In fact, one study tracked him smiling only 7 times in 114 minutes of media footage!
“Even the simulation of an emotion tends to arouse it in our minds.” (more…)
19 Dec Are You a Fast Talker?
æHave people ever said to you “Hey slow down, you talk too fast!” Wonder what they are referring to? Being from the Northeast, we hear this comment quite often. When thinking about controlling your communication style, it’s helpful to peel back one more layer and look at what makes up someone’s speed of speaking.
As a Speaker Coach, I break speed into two categories: rate and pace. Rate refers to the speed in which a person puts words together. It literally refers to the amount of words per minute. The average rate of speech in a business presentation will range from 150-180 words per minute. Think about listening to a commercial and often, at the end there is a voice quickly giving you all the fine print details at a rate you can hardly follow. They are speaking at approximately 300 words per minute. Much too fast for the average listener! (more…)
7 Dec Everything Communicates!
As an Executive Communication Coach, my job is to remind clients that when presenting, everything communicates – how you look, how you sound and what you do with your body. Mary Lou Andre, a nationally recognized wardrobe, dress code and corporate image consultant, got me thinking about this after reading her excellent article: Is Hosiery History?
Her advice on this business appropriate accessory reinforces how important clothing is in communicating respect for yourself and others. (more…)
27 Oct Speak With Confidence and Remove All Doubt
In today’s fast-moving communication-driven world, messages are conveyed through many mediums. “Speaking with confidence” means avoiding tentative language. Non-concrete or tentative language in business shows a lack of self-confidence and will not deliver the strength of your intention to the listeners.
For example:
Non-concrete – “I hope I’ve given you a good overview of our team.”
Concrete – “This gives you a clear overview of our team.”
Non-concrete – “I guess I can deliver this talk confidently.”
Concrete – “I can deliver this talk confidently.”
Watch out for these words in your opening thoughts and phrases, particularly when speaking: I think, I hope, I guess, maybe, kind of, and sort of.