Articles & News
5 Sep Cross-Cultural Conversations: Why Do We Misunderstand Each Other?
The topic of misunderstanding has many angles to discuss; it’s hard to pick one — tone, choice of words, inflection, context, etc.
Let’s look at teams that have members from other cultures. Now, remember, each group has its own culture, so when you see me use the word culture, it does not only mean different countries; it might mean other departments. The specific word I’ll focus on for this discussion is IDIOM.
Definition
an expression in the usage of a language that is peculiar to itself either in having a meaning that cannot be derived from the conjoined meanings of its elements (such as up in the air for “undecided”) or in its grammatically atypical use of words (such as give way) – Source: Merriam-Webster
While this may all sound like Latin to you, are we indeed that different in today’s modern world? Has the world changed that much? I like the topic of idioms because it’s how many Americans and other cultures communicate. Without awareness, it can be highly confusing for individuals learning English as a second language or those visiting an American culture.
A less formal explanation is that an idiom is a collection of words that together convey a specific meaning, but if you look at each word, they have very different uses.
Examples
These are just a few. As professional speech coaches, we train teams on cross-cultural communication often. During training sessions, we want participants to learn that what makes sense to them may not make sense to someone else. The other person might understand each word, but the collection of words together may have a different meaning. They should be aware of what they are saying, how they are saying it, and confirm understanding.
Imagine your daily conversations at work. How fast do you talk? How much information do you cover during a meeting? You see, your listeners nod and smile. Your talk makes great sense (to you). They express visual responses of understanding when, in reality, they have no clue what you’re saying. Then, you are surprised when the project comes out differently than expected.
Great communicators make an effort to maximize understanding. Perfect? No. However, we can improve our speech to communicate with clarity when we recognize the idioms that have become so ingrained into our speech. The sounds and words we use to communicate our thoughts can make perfect sense to us, but do they make sense to our listeners? If you use an idiom, try explaining it or consider how your listeners will or will not understand it. Give it some thought, and see how being more careful when communicating with people from other cultures does not improve.
26 Aug Pause and Consider Your Pauses
Pauses in conversations serve several important functions and are an integral part of effective communication. A pause can signal the end of one thought and the beginning of another; a break between two related thoughts can give the speaker a moment to gather their thoughts or indicate that the speaker is searching for the right words. Pauses can also convey the speaker’s emotions, such as hesitation, uncertainty, or discomfort.
In some cultures, long pauses are considered a sign of disrespect or disinterest; in others, they are seen as a sign of reflection or respect for the listener. For example, in some Asian cultures, pausing before answering a question is customary to show respect for the person who asked the question and to show that the speaker is considering their response carefully. SSee Talk is silver, silence is golden: A cross-cultural study on the usage of pauses in speech for more information.
Pauses can also be used strategically in conversation. For example, a speaker may pause to emphasize a point or create suspense. A well-timed pause can indicate the speaker’s confidence and control over the conversation. In contrast, an awkward or lengthy pause can signal nervousness, discomfort, confusion, loss of control, or a lack of preparation on the speaker’s part.
It is important to note that the length and timing of conversation pauses can vary depending on the speaker’s culture, language, and personality. Some speakers may naturally use longer pauses, while others may use shorter pauses. The context of the conversation may also determine the length or type of pauses used. The best way to determine the appropriate length and timing of pauses in conversation is to observe others and practice using pauses in your conversations. If you find yourself stepping on another’s words or vice versa, you may want to pay more attention to the length and timing of your pauses.
In conclusion, the importance of pauses in conversations cannot be overemphasized; pauses play a crucial role in effective communication and should not be underestimated. By understanding the various functions of pauses and practicing their use, we can improve our ability to communicate effectively and build stronger relationships with others.
19 Aug Are You Seeing What I’m Saying?
In a fast-paced digital-hybrid work environment, effective communication is crucial for success. Speakers want to be both heard and understood. One of the best tools we use to help clients is lining up their verbal and nonverbal cues.
Our message becomes clearer and more impactful when our words and body language sync. We listen with our eyes.
By using appropriate hand gestures, facial expressions, and body posture, we can emphasize key points, convey confidence, and establish rapport with our listeners. This alignment enhances understanding, engages attention, and helps overcome distractions in a bustling workplace. Your body posture can convey enthusiasm, confidence, and sincerity, reinforcing the spoken words. A good speaker coach will help you master the art of synchronized communication, leading to more effective communication and collaboration.
12 Aug Where Do Attitudes Come From?
Attitudes are developed in five major ways; a comprehensive understanding of these contributing factors may help you realize your attitude toward experiences and other people.
- Observation: As a very young child, you observed parents, family, and friends working, speaking, and interacting with others. As you observed their behavior, you were developing attitudes that would later shape your behavior in similar situations. Example: You observed your parent’s treatment of the service person who came to fix your refrigerator. You observed their language, tone of voice, and behavior before, during, and after his or her visit.
- Experience: Early in life, you experienced service that shaped your attitude. Rather than just observing, you actually participated in the service experience. Example: You were sent to the store to buy milk and bread. The service treatment you received had an impact on your delivery of service as an adult.
- Teaching: As a child, adults taught you what attitudes were appropriate in given situations. As an adult, you still may be learning attitudes from those around you. Example: Have you heard fellow employees say, “Don’t work so hard, you make the rest of us look bad” or “You can go easy on this part; no one checks up on you”?
- Peers: As a child, you were strongly influenced by the attitudes and behaviors of other children. Peer pressure is a well-documented and accepted contributing factor to the development of attitudes. However, peer pressure is not limited to childhood experiences. The attitudes and behaviors of your peers may also influence adults. Example: Many adults prefer to eat the same foods, wear the same clothes, drive the same cars, and frequent the same places as others because “It’s the thing to do.”
- Personality. At some point in your life, you must accept responsibility for these attitudes. You cannot simply attribute them to childhood happenings. Example: Are you still saying, “But; that’s the way I was brought up” or “We’ve always done it that way”?
15 Jul How to Motivate Others
Become a more trusted and effective leader!
In this 30-minute recorded lesson, you will learn the difference between inspiration and motivation. We will introduce six proven strategies and show you the unique Motivation Matrixthat you can put to use immediately to motivate anyone.
Watch it now: https://speechimprovement.com/motivating-others-webinar-video/
27 Jun Is Authenticity Overrated?
“To thine own self be true” from Shakespeare’s play Hamlet, is one of the most famous quotes from The Bard’s works.
The essence of these words has great staying power and meaning, especially now.
Applause for authenticity
When asked how they’d like to come across in their leadership roles, more clients than ever share that they’d like to be authentic, natural, and genuine. They want to be true to themselves – not phony, fake, put on, or overly packaged.
We coaches, of course, applaud these aspirational adjectives.
Feeling comfortable and “like yourself” can contribute to smooth, valuable, and positive interactions. Feeling inauthentic can lead to stiff delivery, gestures, and facial expressions.
Kayla, a marketing leader in biotech, was asked to speak at a town hall. She was more nervous than usual, stumbled over statistics, and was told she seemed “scripted.”
Why? Kayla was in the challenging position of not believing what she had to say to her team. Her desire to be authentic clashed with what company executives needed her to say. Quite a challenge!
The Dilemma
Communication coaches understand that solely relying on your “real self” may not always align with achieving your goals.
It’s important to stretch beyond “doing what comes naturally” in order to build your executive communication toolkit and success.
Authenticity Awareness Quiz
Answer these three questions to determine if moving beyond being authentic is a valuable goal for you.
- Does my authentic self always help me get the desired results in this situation?
- Does my authentic self always help me to build and maintain relationships?
- Is my current toolkit of skills consistently effective for professional growth and success?
Most motivated professionals answer No to one or more of the above questions. Terrific! That shows a desire to expand their comfort zone, add new strategies to their toolkit, and experiment with feeling “authentic in new ways.
Executive communication coaches reassure our clients that:
- Authenticity + Building Best Practices is an ideal professional formula.
- New behaviors will feel awkward at first. Within three to six months, they will be part of your natural self.
- You will experience success as you expand your executive communication repertoire and, at the same time, still believe “To thine own self be true”.
6 Jun Paraphrase When Communicating and Coaching Others
Paraphrasing is repeating in your words what you interpret someone else to be saying. Paraphrasing is a powerful approach to furthering the understanding of the other person and yourself and can significantly increase the impact of another’s comments.
As coaches, we know paraphrasing is incredibly difficult because we often need to listen deeply, a skill you must purposefully cultivate. Despite appearing attentive, our minds are churning with various thoughts, beliefs, defenses, distractions, and redirections.
The best way to practice paraphrasing is in your personal life. You can apply this powerful skill at work once you get the reps in with your husband, wife, kids, cousins, or friends.
When paraphrasing:
- Focus your paraphrase on what the other person implied rather than what you wish they meant. For example, avoid saying, “So you’re saying you have NO homework? Instead, say, “If I understand correctly, you finished all your schoolwork during study hall?”
- Put the focus of the paraphrase on the other person, e.g., if the person said, “I had a horrible night; I didn’t sleep more than four hours,” then don’t paraphrase, “Well, I WISH I got four hours; I had an even worse sleep; I was up all night.” Instead, say, “Oh no, you only got four hours of sleep?”
- Put the ownership of the paraphrase on yourself, e.g., “If I’m hearing you right…” or “If I understand you correctly…”
- Put the ownership of the other person’s words on them, e.g., say, “If I understand you right, you’re saying that…” or “Do you believe that…” or “Do you feel that…”
In the paraphrase, use some of the other person’s words. For example, if the other person said, “I think we should do more fun outings as a family. We never go anywhere,” You might paraphrase, “If I’m hearing you right, you feel like we need to schedule more outings we can enjoy together as a family?”
Don’t judge or evaluate the other person’s comments, e.g., don’t say, “Don’t you think you should be calmer when we drive in rush-hour traffic?”
You can use a paraphrase to validate your impression of the other’s comments; e.g., you could say, “So you were frustrated when…?”
The paraphrase should be shorter than the original comments made by the other person. Be brief and concise. It’s not about you!
31 May MassBioEd Course: Presenting with Persuasion, Clarity & Strength
Join Robin Golinski, Executive Communication Coach and our partner, MassBioEd on June 13, 2024 from 10:00 AM – 4:00 PM
Presenting with Persuasion, Clarity & Strength provides professionals with key skills to comfortably speak in a clear and confident manner. Whether presenting internally or externally, telling your story effectively, delivering meaningful messages, being persuasive, and speaking confidently in a variety of settings takes skill development and practice. The course is taught with role-playing and exercises.
“I learned that non-verbal aspects when speaking were very important to be aware of. Most of the time, people do not know they are ‘presenting’ before actually speaking.” – Attendee, September 2021
Topics
- Sharing Communication Challenges
- Understanding the Listener’s Needs
- Understanding the Communication Environment
- Identifying Theme
- Being Persuasive
- Using Notes & Visual Aids
- Best Practices for Presenting Virtually
- Handling Questions
- Practice Strategies
- Deliver a Presentation to the Group
MassBio Member Rate: $850
Non Member Rate: $970
To register: https://massbioed.app.neoncrm.com/np/clients/massbioed/eventRegistration.jsp?event=1596&
30 May Answering Challenging Questions on Your Feet (30 min recorded lesson)
Watch our free, 30-minute recorded lesson
When at work, questions are continuously being tossed out to us. At times,
We don’t know the answer and feel like we should.
We can’t answer the question.
We don’t have a good answer.
We know the question will cause conflict if we choose to answer it.
Anticipating questions can create anxiety, stress, and loss of productivity. There is a way to prepare for these questions so you feel more confident through giving information to others. In this 30-minute lesson, we focus on real-world skills and give you the tools so you can be on top of your game when these challenging questions arise at work.
Join Robin Golinski, Executive Communication Coach for an entertaining and informative, free 30-minute recorded session.
22 Apr How Not to Digest the Political Sandwich of Balderdash – Doublespeak – Bullxxxx
Technically speaking, each of these three things is slightly different. Practically speaking, they are all the same in the attempt to confuse, distract, and deceive the reader, listener, buyer, and voter. We all know that each of these verbal tactics is normal behavior for most politicians and slick salespeople. They are prevalent at this time of year—election season.
During this political season, when you are facing several important decisions on issues ranging from birth and abortion to death and war, it is helpful to know how to protect yourself from being manipulated by these B-D-B tactics.
You will vote on issues, items, people, and policies based on one or more of the following things:
1) the known credibility, morals, ethics, or behaviors exhibited by a person or evidence provided.
2) the feelings and emotions that are created by that person or evidence provided.
3) the logic and experience given by that person or the evidence provided.
Your decision to vote, one way or another, will be based on one or more of those three things.
Balderdash, doublespeak, and bullxxxxare all being used frequently and passionately by politicians and others during this season. They are planned, delivered, and repeated in an effort to sway your clear decision-making. When you think about it, you’ll find it challenging to identify any politician or others from any political party or organization who do not use one or more forms of B-D-B.
The most common use of B-D-B is when an issue that requires a logical decision is presented to you wrapped in emotion (sort of a logic sandwich, with the logic encased in the middle and surrounded by a lot of emotion). This is designed to confuse and control your decision-making and voting.
What should you do? Read and listen critically to arguments for or against any issues, items, people, or policies during this election period. Refuse to consume a logic sandwich that comes wrapped in emotion. B-D-B comes wrapped in all kinds of emotion that is delivered with fanfare, folly, fun, pomposity, groupthink, and all sorts of shiny objects.
Enjoy them if you must, but remember they are only the emotional wrappings around the logic. Listen carefully, be curious, and have the courage to ask questions. Make decisions based on your personal assessment of the logic surrounding the issue, item, person, or project. That’s how smart you are.
2 Apr Ponderous Prepositions and Prefixes
Nothing is more symptomatic of our declining language skills than the increased misuse of prepositions and prefixes. People today feel compelled to tinker with proper word usage in speech by adding those handy prepositions and prefixes. Take traffic reports, for instance. Traffic on Route 1 is “easing up,” “easing down,” “easing off,” or “easing out,” but never just “easing.” What is “easing up” traffic? Is that when cars levitate? Levitating cars certainly would ease traffic.
We truly have an “up” fixation. Let’s not forget “shine up,” “smash up,” “stand up,” “fix up,” “patch up,” “wait up,” “lighten up” (this is just before we levitate), and “listen up.” We also like to use the word “of” where it is unnecessary. Why do we need to get off of the couch? Why not get off the couch?
How about adding prefixes to words to make hyphenated words? These days, we “on-load” a truck and “off-load” a truck. Whatever happened to the utilitarian “load and unload” of a truck? A favorite business word with an unneeded prefix is “pre-planning.” What does one do in “pre-planning”? Stare out the window? Twiddle thumbs? Plan the planning? Whatever that is!
So, remember to enhance the meaning and power of your speech; use prepositions and prefixes sparingly. Don’t spend time fixing something that doesn’t need fixing. Instead, consider adding those extra prepositions and prefixes purposefully to enrich your verbal expression.
13 Mar Motivating Others
In this 30-minute recorded webinar, you will learn the difference between inspiration and motivation. We will introduce the unique Motivation Matrix and use it to identify the six elements needed to motivate anyone.
Controlling the Impression You Make
What would you like other people to say about you when you are not present?
This 30-minute recorded webinar will reveal the six most frequently selected impressions that leaders of countries and companies worldwide find effective.
Advocating for Yourself
Speaking up on your own behalf should not feel uncomfortable or embarrassing. This 30-minute recorded webinar will focus on both the mindset and methods for advocating for yourself and your ideas.
Answering Challenging Questions on Your Feet
At work, questions are continuously being tossed out to us. At times,
- We don’t know the answer and feel like we should.
- We can’t answer the question.
- We don’t have a good answer.
- We know the question will cause conflict if we choose to answer it.
Delivering Performance Reviews Confidently
If your work situation requires you to manage other people, this complimentary webinar will benefit you. One of your responsibilities is to periodically give people an assessment of how they perform their work responsibilities. This is often a sensitive and uncomfortable task.