7 Jan Speak With Confidence Tips

Tip #1: Consider your use of contractions

If you want to polish and add gravitas to your speaking style, it’s time to reconsider your use of contractions. The words below can be a good start to set a formal tone and an excellent approach to elevate your messaging.

aren’t → are not;

there’s → there is;

can’t → cannot;

they’d → they had;

couldn’t → could not;

they’ll → they will;

didn’t → did not;

they’re → they are

Not every situation calls for formality, but there are some situations where being well-spoken or more formal may benefit you—negotiating a contract, sharing a presentation with C-level leaders, delivering serious news, or influencing others.

Tip #2: Prepare quick opening and closing remarks for your meetings

In a recent coaching session last week, a client (let’s call her Mary), the Founder of her company, expressed frustration. During bigger events such as offsite sales meetings or team events, the last speaker often turns to her and says on the mic, “Mary, any final thoughts?” Mary, as an introvert (and taken by surprise), tends to respond with a simple “Nope, all set!”

For event hosts (CEOs, heads of IR, Founders), preparing both opening and closing remarks can be incredibly beneficial even if you are not officially scheduled to speak at those times. These moments are a valuable opportunity to conclude events meaningfully, express gratitude and build trust.

Here are some examples to consider:

• Short and sweet closing remark: “If you have any follow-up questions, please drop by my office next week. As a token of appreciation for your time, treats and swag bags are in the hallway. Help yourself on your way out! Thank you.”
• More elaborate closing remark: “Before we depart, I want to thank everyone who participated this week. Your presence made this event a huge success! A special acknowledgment to our XXX team for their outstanding efforts in organizing everything from XXX to XXX. Their dedication was pivotal to the success of our Fourth Annual XXX. Let’s show our gratitude for their hard work!”

Seize these moments to conclude your gatherings on a high note and leave a lasting, positive impression.

Tip #3: Practice for a ballroom-setting presentation in front of a busy storefront

It’s a busy time of year as we coach speakers for Fall Annual Global Meetings in Private Equity and Financial Services. In a coaching session earlier this week, a client had the (accidental) opportunity to practice their ten-minute presentation in a glass-walled boardroom, with at least 15 folks walking through the halls at 3 p.m., hunting for snacks and caffeine. This made me extremely happy because if you can stay laser-focused in a chaotic environment when you practice, you’ll feel the same sense of calm and control in a hotel ballroom, with all the people typing, eating, getting up to go to the bathroom, whispering, laptop notifications dinging, etc.

To replicate a busy ballroom environment, you can go to a place like a storefront or shopping center and say your presentation out loud. (You can slip in earbuds if you want to look like you are talking to someone!) Can you stay focused on your content despite the sirens, crying babies, and bustling people? People who have ADHD or are Neurodivergent (Autism Spectrum, etc.) could also significantly benefit from this type of practice. The more important the presentation, the more rigorous your preparation should be.

Tip #4: Use transition phrases to add content fluidity

As you change slides or topics during a presentation, you might find yourself saying things like:

• So yeah, anyway
• Um, ok next slide
• Sorry, that was a lot of info; moving on…

Instead, memorize a few transition phrases to add polish, such as:

• From an overall perspective on…
• I’d like to walk you through…
• In our conversations on the importance of…

Here’s a great quote to motivate you:

“When you are not practicing, someone else is getting better.” – Allen Iverson

23 Oct How To Communicate Price Increases

6 Jun Paraphrase When Communicating and Coaching Others

Paraphrasing is repeating in your words what you interpret someone else to be saying. Paraphrasing is a powerful approach to furthering the understanding of the other person and yourself and can significantly increase the impact of another’s comments.

As coaches, we know paraphrasing is incredibly difficult because we often need to listen deeply, a skill you must purposefully cultivate. Despite appearing attentive, our minds are churning with various thoughts, beliefs, defenses, distractions, and redirections.

The best way to practice paraphrasing is in your personal life. You can apply this powerful skill at work once you get the reps in with your husband, wife, kids, cousins, or friends.

When paraphrasing:

• Focus your paraphrase on what the other person implied rather than what you wish they meant. For example, avoid saying, “So you’re saying you have NO homework? Instead, say, “If I understand correctly, you finished all your schoolwork during study hall?”
• Put the focus of the paraphrase on the other person, e.g., if the person said, “I had a horrible night; I didn’t sleep more than four hours,” then don’t paraphrase, “Well, I WISH I got four hours; I had an even worse sleep; I was up all night.” Instead, say, “Oh no, you only got four hours of sleep?”
• Put the ownership of the paraphrase on yourself, e.g., “If I’m hearing you right…” or “If I understand you correctly…”
• Put the ownership of the other person’s words on them, e.g., say, “If I understand you right, you’re saying that…” or “Do you believe that…” or “Do you feel that…”

In the paraphrase, use some of the other person’s words. For example, if the other person said, “I think we should do more fun outings as a family. We never go anywhere,” You might paraphrase, “If I’m hearing you right, you feel like we need to schedule more outings we can enjoy together as a family?”

Don’t judge or evaluate the other person’s comments, e.g., don’t say, “Don’t you think you should be calmer when we drive in rush-hour traffic?”

You can use a paraphrase to validate your impression of the other’s comments; e.g., you could say, “So you were frustrated when…?”

The paraphrase should be shorter than the original comments made by the other person. Be brief and concise. It’s not about you!

13 Mar Controlling the Impression You Make

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12 Mar Virtual Presentations Beyond the Basics

Since COVID, there has been a surge in the use of Zoom, Teams, Slack, and other tools for virtual presentations. Dr. Ethan Becker, President, and Laura Mathis, Executive Communication Coach have together coached hundreds of remote presenters and share best practices in this 30-minute recorded webinar.

13 Feb The Unique Challenges of Neurodiverse Communication in the Workplace

As an Executive Communication Coach, I’m thrilled to see Neurodiversity becoming more recognized and celebrated at work. However, its nuances in the workplace can cause frustration and miscommunications.

For example, if you work with someone who rarely makes eye contact, you might assume they are shy, nervous, or uncomfortable. Using eye contact is an essential nonverbal communication behavior that most of us use automatically in work interactions. Eye contact helps people communicate their interest and attention to a conversation. Yet, making eye contact with others can be very challenging for some people with Autism. There are many books and articles written by adults with Autism who describe the stress they felt when well-meaning bosses and managers tried to force them to make eye contact during conversations, client meetings, or presentations. In many cases, they describe being further distracted and unable to focus on the conversation because of this insistence.

Neurodiversity describes the idea that people experience and interact with the world around them in many different ways; there is no one “right” way of thinking, learning, and behaving, and differences are not viewed as deficits. Still, it is often used in the context of autism spectrum disorder (ASD), as well as other neurological or developmental conditions such as ADHD or learning disabilities.

Here are a few additional definitions for clarity:

Neurotypical is an informal term describing a person whose brain functions are considered usual or expected by society. This term is often applied to people who do not have a developmental disorder like Autism, differentiating them from those who do. It is neither a mental disorder nor even an official diagnostic term.

Neurodivergent describes someone who isn’t neurotypical, and Neurodiverse generally refers to differences in brain function among people diagnosed with an autism spectrum disorder (ASD). These words can be applied to other neurodevelopmental conditions like dyslexia or attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).

There are many forms that Neurodiversity can take, but for this article, I’ll speak specifically about the Autism Spectrum.

I’ve had the opportunity to coach professionals who identify on the Autism spectrum and also have a close family member on the Spectrum, so I have no shortage of practice when it comes to noticing the small microcommunications that are often lost or misperceived. I do not claim mastery but merely the complex process of listening and communicating with clarity, patience, and an open mind.

You may wonder if you currently work with someone on the Autism Spectrum, or perhaps someone has told you specifically that they are Autistic. Either way, how we communicate needs to be looked at with flexibility and deeper understanding.

If you consider yourself Neurotypical, consider the workplace examples below. You’ll see a few ways a Neurotypical person might communicate with someone on the Autism Spectrum (let’s call this person with ASD your “colleague.”). Observe below how messages and information can get crossed:

You don’t get any eye contact from your colleague when speaking with them, and it feels like they aren’t listening.

After a long conversation, your colleague didn’t speak much and only said ‘OK’ and then walked away, but you aren’t sure if they understood.

After an excellent co-presentation with your colleague, you raise your hand to high-five, but they walk back to their desk right past you.

In the elevator, you ask your colleague how their weekend was, and they say “Fine” and don’t ask you back.

You pull a piece of fluff off your colleague’s coat, and they jump away and recoil from you.

Your colleague is the only one who never joins the team for happy hour on Fridays.

You run weekly stand-up meetings where everyone shares their work progress, but your colleague only sends theirs via Slack.

What do you think of these examples?

It might be tempting to diagnose this colleague as…. a JERK!

And maybe that’s true?

In that case, we might be brought in as coaches to help this person come across better in terms of their communication style and approach to relationship building.

But…

It could ALSO be that your colleague is on the Autism Spectrum, which means they may function differently than you when it comes to understanding nonverbal cues, processing verbal information, expressing emotions and thoughts, managing sensitivities to food or sounds, physical touch, social gatherings, knowing how to engage in small talk, and much more.

There is no quick and easy solution to creating harmonious relationships at work with a Neurodiverse colleague. One place to start is recognizing the need for deep understanding and tailored approaches. Acknowledging and addressing distinct differences can lead to a more harmonious and supportive workplace where everyone feels heard, respected, and appreciated.