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27 Nov Why men should attend the Massachusetts Conference for Women in December 2018
I have always learned so much about the male mindset through my brother and many times it was contrary to what society was teaching. He was always a great ally to my sister and I when confronting our irrational and impulsive mother. I continue to learn from him by having very candid conversations about male/female dynamics and perspectives. He is angered about the #metoo stories coming out and couldn’t imagine taking advantage of an incapacitated female. He’s the type of man that women need as an ally to change the world for the better.
19 Nov When Insults Had Class
Time for some wordplay and levity…
“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.” – Winston Churchill
“Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.” – Moses Hadas
“He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.” – Abraham Lincoln
“I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play, bring a friend… if you have one.” – George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill (more…)
8 Nov Improving Your Speech Patterns
Working as a speech coach, one of the successful techniques I use to help people speak clearly is to figure out where there may be snags in their speech patterns. Here are two of the most common.
1. Are you dropping volume at the end of sentences?
It is normal to soften your volume at the end of a thought, but don’t trail your sentences into oblivion. Assess your volume by taping yourself and checking to make sure you can hear the last words of your sentences. Practice speaking or reading aloud with conscious attention on lessening the decibel drop. Use these practice sentences:
“Let’s meet in the lobby of the downtown Marriott.”
“Sarah James was finally promoted to regional manager.”
In these examples, if you don’t keep your volume up, you’ll be swallowing your main point.
2 Nov Cry Like a Little Girl
Communication fascinates me. This is one of the reasons why I love being a communication trainer and coach. Communication is like breathing, it’s happening through every person every minute of the day. Communication breakdowns are inevitable no matter how thoughtful we are. As a communication trainer, I can become an observer/researcher to distract myself from negatively reacting (sometimes) as I did on a recent family visit.
The opportunity to learn came from my 19 year old daughter when we were meeting a new significant other (SO) of one of my sisters. The new SO is an affable guy and everyone really liked him. We had a busy day of talking and storytelling. (more…)
26 Sep Learning to Listen
Hearing and listening are not the same process. Hearing is the physical act of sound striking the eardrum. Listening is differentiating among those sounds. Hearing is an involuntary and reflective act. Listening is a voluntary and initiative act. As you read these words, you are hearing sounds in the room or outside the building. You are probably hearing an air-conditioning system or a furnace, or voices in the hallway. Perhaps you are hearing street traffic or an airplane. Hearing these sounds simply means that the sounds are striking your eardrum. It’s not until you focus on these sounds that you are actually listening to them. Now that we’ve mentioned them, do you hear the sounds around you? Are you listening to them? In a business environment, you will hear many sounds that could demand your attention. (more…)
20 Aug Why doesn’t she appreciate my advice?
In Nan and Billy’s house it goes like this:
Nan: I wish I could find a cause to get into, maybe volunteering or just doing something worth-while.
Billy: So call the College Club – I heard they need help, and the hospital gift shop might be looking for volunteers.
Nan: Forget it, you don’t even know what I’m interested in.
Billy: Geez! Why bring it up if you don’t want my opinion?
Billy means well, and his ideas might be valid, but Nan finds his approach annoying. In giving advice you anoint yourself as an authority, and if no one asked for it, you come across as know-it-all. More important, like many women, Nan is (more…)
31 Jul What?!? No PowerPoint?
Three different speech coaching clients have told me how they are planning to follow the steps of Amazon and do away with PowerPoint in their senior executive meetings. Fortunately, I was able to stop this colossal mistake before it was too late.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not unaware of the torture and mis-communication that can happen when PowerPoint is used. I agree and support that certain types of meetings are best conducted without it. But to toss it out completely, as a blanket absolute, is just lazy and poor judgement. It’s also helpful to know that I’m a minimalist when it comes to the use of slides, so I’m not a PowerPoint pusher.
Because use of visual aids done poorly can render meetings a waste of time, I’m agreeing with Jeff Bezos. Why should any of us spend an hour or more to meet where there is no productive communication, no one being persuasive, no one able to successfully share ideas, so we walk away with no information?
24 Jul The Transformational Effect of Live Storytelling
The ability to speak with impact directly correlates with one’s salary. As an Executive Communication Coach, I have helped many nervous professionals hone their speaking skills in order to advance their careers. Typically, the coaching and training focuses on content organization and delivery skills for maximum effectiveness.
I love communication so much that it is not just my day job, but also my hobby. I’m a storyteller and participate in story slams. These are events where regular people tell a personal, true story to a crowd, based on the theme of the night. Many of them have never used a microphone before and some require coaxing by their friends to tell. (more…)
10 Jul I’m always more interested in talking than he is
Welcome to the one way conversation club. Though plenty of men turn somersaults to get conversational action going with their mates, more often women end up exasperated with silent partners. It’s not that women bore men – watch a man salivate over her every syllable on a long-awaited first date. Rather, whereas women tend to need a daily dose of conversational closeness, men value just being together and doing things together, even mundane activities like eating quietly side by side. For guys, verbal interaction is one part, and not necessarily the most important part, of the whole relationship picture. This frustrates women who judge closeness by the number of words exchanged per evening. If wives and girlfriends had their druthers, the time couples spend in conversation would surely rise from its measly weekly average of nineteen – yes, nineteen – minutes. (more…)