I have always learned so much about the male mindset through my brother and many times it was contrary to what society was teaching. He was always a great ally to my sister and I when confronting our irrational and impulsive mother. I continue to learn from him by having very candid conversations about male/female dynamics and perspectives. He is angered about the #metoo stories coming out and couldn’t imagine taking advantage of an incapacitated female. He’s the type of man that women need as an ally to change the world for the better.
My brother was more emotionally sensitive than his two older sisters and that annoyed our dad. My sister and I would tease him until he cried, then my dad would chastise him for crying. Needless to say, I don’t think we helped him feel safe around women and I now shudder at the memories. When I was 19 and he was 16 we got into a physical fight only this time he realized he was finally bigger and stronger than I was. It took a minute for it to sink into my brain as he grabbed me by the arms and lifted me off the ground. I think we were both scared of the new stakes of this common interaction and decided it was best to stop physically fighting especially since I could no longer win (LOL).
When we were in our 30s, my brother came to visit me in Boston, arriving on a 11pm flight. His arrival happened to fall on the monthly ‘Girls’ Nite Out’ (GNO) at my house. Around 40 women would gather to dance, drink and swap stories. Often by 11pm we were wrapping up so I told my brother to just come from the airport via cab. I lost track of time with all the laughing and dancing so it was a surprise when brother walked in. He immediately held his hands up saying, “I have to leave, I can’t stay, there’s way too much estrogen in here!”. He turned around to leave but was prevented by enthusiastic ladies. I was entertained watching him flounder like a fish out of water in this crowd. I think this was a first for him, to be in the extreme minority; he works as a SAP consultant, usually among mostly men. It wasn’t long before he relaxed and became deeply engaged in meaningful conversation and had fun even as the only male in the house! My brother is definitely one of the good men and we need others like him to show up, speak up and partner with us to make the world a safer, more respectful place.
The Massachusetts Conference for Women #masswomen is the perfect place for those courageous male allies to show up and show their support to fourteen thousand women!
