Archives

Just as breakfast is often considered the most important meal of the day, analyzing who is listening to us speak is one of the most important parts of speech preparation. Unfortunately, as with breakfast, analyzing who is listening to them is a step speakers often skip.

Generally, when an executive is asked to be on a panel, give a keynote, appear on a podcast, or even present to a board of directors, they go straight to content. While this is not incorrect, if you do so without considering the listener’s needs, your impact will not be as strong.

You may be asking, “So, how do I make sure I get this right?” Here are some simple tips for understanding your listener.

Think about the listener, not yourself.

Much like grabbing a coffee on the go seems like a good breakfast replacement, it’s easy to fall into a trap of obsessing over the content you believe you need to cover. The time that it takes can cover as much as doomscrolling on social media.

Aristotle gave some great advice: Focus on the people you’re addressing.

Ask yourself: Who are my listeners? What is their demographic *age, race, gender, orientation, education, etc. How many will be listening? What is their prior knowledge of my topic? Why should they listen to you? What’s in it for them? How will what you are speaking about help them?

Before you begin preparing, consider your overall goal. Do you want to inspire? teach? inform? persuade?

Taking all of this into consideration before you write will help you focus on the listener rather than yourself.

They connect with their listeners’ emotions.

That coffee on the go may bring you happiness, but how does it impact those around you? When preparing for a presentation, in your mind, the subject of your talk may be quarterly sales, company policy, or your amazing invention. Your audience, however, is focused on an entirely different topic; why does all this matter to them?

Aristotle identifies pathos as one of the three essential modes of proof by his statement that “to understand the emotions”.

To be a successful speaker, you need to add the persuasive element of Pathos into your presentation, rather than rambling about what you feel is important. Talk with your listener. Bring them into the subject. Make them feel the benefit you’re giving them through your presentation. Make an emotional connection with them.

Using emotional connection through your word choice will give you a greater impact on your listener.

They speak in their listeners’ language.

Whether you order an Espresso, a latte, or an Americano, there’s no arguing that it is created from coffee beans. Getting your audience to accept your words and ideas depends on how credible they find you.

“When speakers behave inappropriately,” wrote Aristotle, “their credibility is questioned even when they speak the truth.”

Credibility not only comes from status and source citations, but also from word choice and physical presence while presenting.

If your listener thinks in kilometers, don’t explain something in miles. If they work in spreadsheets, don’t speak in metaphors alone. If they’re parents, show them how it affects families. If they’re scientists, show them the data.

It’s less about changing your message and more about translating it.

In the end, great speaking isn’t about having the most slides, the smartest data, or the sharpest soundbite. It’s about resonance. As Aristotle understood centuries ago, persuasion lives at the intersection of logic, credibility, and emotion, but all three only matter if they land with the listener.

A balanced breakfast fuels you. A listener-centered message fuels impact.

Credibility is a building block for many communication goals, such as persuading, educating, and informing others. Whether you are pitching to a VC, working to develop new partnerships, or convincing a patient to listen to your medical advice, establishing and strengthening your credibility lays a strong foundation to help you reach your communication goals.

In a previous blog, I explained how to boost your credibility through the content you deliver. A second way to boost your credibility is with your delivery of that content. You can demonstrate the elements of credibility: your expertise, trustworthiness, and goodwill, simply by the way that you speak, move, and gesture.

First, delivering with confidence will show your expertise. Speaking with the confidence you have rightfully earned as an expert in your subject will go a long way toward being viewed as a credible source. For example, learning to manage the nerves that lead to a shaky voice can make all the difference in sounding confident. One of the most important things I do with clients is to watch them speak and identify elements of their delivery that we can strengthen together.

Second, speaking comfortably and confidently in front of others shows that you are trustworthy. Recently, I saw a new dermatologist and although he seemed to know his stuff about skin, he also seemed nervous talking to me. If I had been coaching him, I would suggest he practice making eye contact. Appearing nervous can take away from a speaker’s trustworthiness.

Third, goodwill can be shown in delivery by employing the proper tone, showing your passion for the subject, and nonverbally demonstrating care for the listeners. If you are a financial planner, you need to choose when to take a serious tone. For many people, money is a serious topic, so ensuring that your passion for this topic takes on a serious tone will establish that you have goodwill toward the listeners.

There are many ways to build credibility. Consider how you can demonstrate expertise, trustworthiness, and goodwill in the way you speak and move. If you aren’t sure what elements of your delivery need to be changed or improved, a communication coach makes an excellent partner in identifying and strengthening how you come across to listeners.

When there’s a consistent communication disconnect between you and someone on your team, no matter who reports to whom, there’s a good chance that threat and defensiveness are at play. Often, it’s not even conscious.

Competition and negative reinforcement can drive short-term performance, but long-term success depends on opening communication channels.

Start by asking yourself: What about me might be threatening to this person? The answer can be surprising.

Maybe they admire you yet feel intimidated by your abilities.

Maybe you speak too quickly… jump through too many technical details… or come across as too brief in conversation. Even small patterns can create unintended tension.

Once you have an idea, make a small adjustment.

Slow your speaking rate, pause longer before responding.

For example: briefly explain why a request matters.

Sometimes it’s as simple as softening your tone, offering a smile, or acknowledging their point before moving forward.

These subtle cues build psychological safety. When they notice your effort, they’ll appreciate it, even if it’s a bit awkward.

Then, take it one step further: validate them by first observing closely what they emphasize when making decisions and noting details they care about. Listen for repeated themes, ask clarifying questions if needed, and reflect back what you notice. Next, find one small, consistent thing they do (especially something others probably overlook) and express genuine appreciation for it, making your validation specific and authentic.

It might be as simple as how they organize their notes, the way they prepare a meeting space, or even the kind of paperclips they always use. Recognition of that detail makes them feel seen. And here’s the bonus: every time they repeat that behavior, they’ll feel a quiet neurochemical echo of that validation.

This isn’t just easing tension—it’s building trust.

Even for those who are already very good communicators, there is always room to level up. Below I discuss three areas in which communicators can grow in effectiveness. Understanding even one of these is a good step toward growth. You should…

KNOW THAT FAMILIARITY AFFECTS COMMUNICATION

There is a huge difference between communicating with people you know and people who do not know you. I am a longtime soccer fan and a soccer coach, so I watch a lot of soccer games. One thing anyone can see when watching soccer is the difference between teams that have played together for a long time and teams that were just put together for a tournament. The familiarity gained from practicing together makes things flow more smoothly.

Communication is the same: when you gain familiarity with others, communication can flow more smoothly. When you are not familiar with others, you need to work harder to have an effective interaction. The first step is awareness of the difference between these two groups. With listeners who do not know you, you will need to work harder to…

REMOVE BARRIERS FOR THE LISTENER

Much of our expertise in speech communication focuses on how to help listeners hear the important information you, the speaker, want to communicate to them! A catchphrase in our company is “It’s not about YOU”—meaning that, as speakers, we are often very self-centered, focusing on what we are going to say and how we are going to say it. This is to the detriment of the listener because what is good for the speaker is often not good for the listener.

For example, putting lots of words on your slides can be a comfort for the speaker. Many speakers want to deliver a lot of information, especially if they are experts in their topic. They want to make sure they include all of that information on the slide. However, having lots of words on slides can create cognitive overload for the listeners, making their job of understanding the speaker harder. If the job of listening gets too difficult, people simply stop doing it!

Too much information in the presentation and on the slides makes the task of listening too difficult. Carefully curating the information you will present enables your listeners to understand your message better. To more effectively determine what information you should include, you need to…

PRACTICE THINKING ABOUT THE OTHER PERSON

Thinking about the other person does not come naturally; we tend to be self-focused. To be an effective communicator, you need to think hard about what it is that will help the listener be able to hear you. Is the listener an expert? Is the listener pressed for time? Does the listener know you personally? All of these will change the way you communicate.

Getting into the practice of considering the listener is a good first step to communicating more effectively, whether it is with your familiar teammates or a new group of listeners. Remember: with a little effort, you can always improve.

As an executive communication coach, I often talk with clients about the importance of credibility or ethos for speakers. If you want people to listen to, care about, and be persuaded by what you say, it is incredibly important to establish credibility with your listeners. If you’re an executive, you are certainly experienced and have many credentials and degrees, but listing those verbally can be boring and at worst may be seen as pretentious!

How do you demonstrate credibility when speaking beyond listing your credentials, degrees, or position? Research in this area breaks credibility down into expertise, trustworthiness, and goodwill of the speaker. One way to boost your credibility across these areas when speaking: with your content.

First, carefully choose and organize your content to demonstrate that you have expertise in this subject area. Show that you have done your homework and are familiar and comfortable with this subject. This starts with clarity and organization of your content to help listeners follow you.

Second, ensure accurate content to establish that you are trustworthy.This means no made-up facts! Accuracy shows that you can be trusted to tell the truth.

Third, show that you feel goodwill toward the listeners. One way you can do this is to admit when you do not know something. Doing so shows you would rather admit your own (small) weakness than send the listeners astray. And of course, you will find the answer and get back to them, because you care about them.

There are many ways to build credibility. Consider how you can integrate expertise, trustworthiness, and goodwill to show listeners you are a credible source of information. If you aren’t sure how to do so, a communication coach makes an excellent partner in strengthening your organization, accuracy, and ability to answer questions.