I Hate Small Talk

[vc_row row_type=”row” use_row_as_full_screen_section=”no” type=”full_width” angled_section=”no” text_align=”left” background_image_as_pattern=”without_pattern” css_animation=””][vc_column][vc_column_text]Is small talk really so small? Chitchat about unimportant matters provides warm-up time for more meaningful interaction. During small talk, shifts in several dimensions of interaction can occur-from discomfort to comfort, mistrust to trust, im­personal topics to personal ones. Then talkers turn to their real business.

Jay, an intense engineer who wanted to meet his soulmate, refused to make small talk. He insisted, “I like to walk up to a woman and say, ‘I’ve been divorced three times, and I finally know myself well enough to sustain a close relationship.'” Unfortunately, he turned off more women than he turned on with his direct approach.

How to Make Your Peace With Small Talk

  1. Appreciate small talk as a normal, necessary stage before a more meaningful exchange. Without small talk your style of interaction will seem rude or cold.
  2. Use small talk time to convey warmth and interest in your conversational partner. The content of what you are saying matters little. If someone makes an inane remark, it’s fine to make an equally insipid comment to get the dance of conversa­tion going. Make eye contact, wear a warm, involved expres­sion, and nod your head to show interest.
  3. After introductions, think about what you have in com­mon with the other person to decide what to say. You will even have certain things in common with strangers. At a beach party, for example, there are the physical surroundings, the host and guests, the food, the music, and yes, the weather. Try a simple comment:

“Incredible day!”

“Have some avocado dip-it’s scrumptious.”

or  a question:

“Who’s winning in volleyball?”

“Are you another longtime friend of Patsy’s?”

4.  The small-talk phase is usually short. In business there should be a maximum of five minutes before getting to your real purpose. Allow the same amount of time in social situa­tions before turning to the really interesting stuff. Whenever you’re feeling frustrated with the degree of small talk, use a transition such as:

“So what exactly is your role at ZYX?”

“I’m really glad you invited me here to discuss your marketing plan.”

(You wouldn’t normally make such comments first thing.)

Remember: Don’t worry about being clever. Just enter into the game of conversation, starting with the little moves necessary to get the game rolling smoothly.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]

Author

Spread the love

Author

MORE POSTS

Networking When You Hate Networking

True confessions: I’m an introvert. I do not like talking to people I don’t know. However, I will be entirely unsuccessful in my profession if I do not meet new people. For so many professions, meeting new people is crucial to success. And for people like me, networking is a dirty word. So, how can we make networking less painful and more doable? Attending professional conferences provides an excellent opportunity to engage in networking. Here’s

Spread the love

Do You Struggle to Get to the Point? Try the HEC Strategy!

Ever been asked to “get to the point” and found yourself scrambling? If so, you might be an inductive thinker—someone who starts with smaller details and builds toward the bigger picture. While this approach feels natural for many, it can waste time and frustrate deductive thinkers, who prefer starting with the conclusion. Enter the HEC strategy: Headline-Example-Comment. This simple framework helps you speak clearly and efficiently in 20 seconds or less. 1. Headline Start with

Spread the love

The Magic of the Metaphor to Simplify Complex Information

When explaining complicated, technical concepts during a presentation, metaphors can be a powerful way to ensure your audience understands the material. By comparing a complex idea to something familiar, you make the information more relatable and easier to grasp. Take the concept of cloud computing, for example. Instead of delving into the technical intricacies, you could compare it to a bustling airport terminal. Just as passengers board different flights to reach various destinations, data in

Spread the love

QUESTIONS? NEED HELP?

Tell us what’s on your mind: