I Hate Small Talk

[vc_row row_type=”row” use_row_as_full_screen_section=”no” type=”full_width” angled_section=”no” text_align=”left” background_image_as_pattern=”without_pattern” css_animation=””][vc_column][vc_column_text]Is small talk really so small? Chitchat about unimportant matters provides warm-up time for more meaningful interaction. During small talk, shifts in several dimensions of interaction can occur-from discomfort to comfort, mistrust to trust, im­personal topics to personal ones. Then talkers turn to their real business.

Jay, an intense engineer who wanted to meet his soulmate, refused to make small talk. He insisted, “I like to walk up to a woman and say, ‘I’ve been divorced three times, and I finally know myself well enough to sustain a close relationship.'” Unfortunately, he turned off more women than he turned on with his direct approach.

How to Make Your Peace With Small Talk

  1. Appreciate small talk as a normal, necessary stage before a more meaningful exchange. Without small talk your style of interaction will seem rude or cold.
  2. Use small talk time to convey warmth and interest in your conversational partner. The content of what you are saying matters little. If someone makes an inane remark, it’s fine to make an equally insipid comment to get the dance of conversa­tion going. Make eye contact, wear a warm, involved expres­sion, and nod your head to show interest.
  3. After introductions, think about what you have in com­mon with the other person to decide what to say. You will even have certain things in common with strangers. At a beach party, for example, there are the physical surroundings, the host and guests, the food, the music, and yes, the weather. Try a simple comment:

“Incredible day!”

“Have some avocado dip-it’s scrumptious.”

or  a question:

“Who’s winning in volleyball?”

“Are you another longtime friend of Patsy’s?”

4.  The small-talk phase is usually short. In business there should be a maximum of five minutes before getting to your real purpose. Allow the same amount of time in social situa­tions before turning to the really interesting stuff. Whenever you’re feeling frustrated with the degree of small talk, use a transition such as:

“So what exactly is your role at ZYX?”

“I’m really glad you invited me here to discuss your marketing plan.”

(You wouldn’t normally make such comments first thing.)

Remember: Don’t worry about being clever. Just enter into the game of conversation, starting with the little moves necessary to get the game rolling smoothly.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]

Author

Spread the love

Author

MORE POSTS

Unlocking the Power of Conferences: Turning Chaos into Opportunity

Conferences can be transformative experiences—places where new partnerships are forged, ideas take flight, and energy is reinvigorated. Yet, all too often, they devolve into chaotic whirlwinds of missed opportunities and scattered schedules. Ironically, the best moments often happen in the quiet corners: hallway conversations or impromptu meetups in empty banquet rooms after the main events. What if those “best parts” could become the focus instead of the afterthought? When approached as collaborative team-building opportunities rather

Spread the love

Paraphrasing: A Crucial Skill for Building Trust and Rapport

In the vast landscape of communication, the ability to paraphrase stands out as a valuable skill that often goes unnoticed. Paraphrasing involves rephrasing someone else’s words or ideas in your own words, and its importance in conversation cannot be overstated. This nuanced skill plays a pivotal role in fostering understanding, enhancing relationships, and promoting effective communication. One of the primary benefits of paraphrasing lies in its ability to ensure clarity. When conversing, it’s not uncommon

Spread the love

Speaking Successfully at a Conference Fireside Chat

A fireside chat in business is an informal yet structured conversation between a moderator and a guest speaker (or panel) at a conference, event, or corporate gathering. Unlike traditional keynote speeches or panel discussions, fireside chats are engaging, relaxed, and interactive—almost like an intimate conversation around a fireplace, which is where the term originates. Of course, speaking in this format may not always feel comfortable. Nerves can creep in between the lavalier mic, a tight

Spread the love

QUESTIONS? NEED HELP?

Tell us what’s on your mind: