Paraprosdokians

We love paraprosdokians, figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected.

  1. Where there’s a will, I want to be in it.
  2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it’s still on my list.
  3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
  4. If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.
  5. War does not determine who is right – only who is left.
  6. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
  7. They begin the evening news with ‘Good Evening,’ then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
  8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
  9. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out, I just wanted pay checks.
  10. In filling out an application, where it says, ‘In case of emergency, notify:’ I put “DOCTOR.”
  11. I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
  12. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street…with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
  13. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
  14. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
  15. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
  16. Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
  17. There’s a fine line between cuddling and…holding someone down so they can’t get away.
  18. I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not so sure.
  19. You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
  20. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
  21. Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.
  22. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
  23. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
  24. I’m supposed to respect my elders, but now it’s getting harder and harder for me to find one.

Author

Spread the love

Author

MORE POSTS

The Magic of the Metaphor to Simplify Complex Information

When explaining complicated, technical concepts during a presentation, metaphors can be a powerful way to ensure your audience understands the material. By comparing a complex idea to something familiar, you make the information more relatable and easier to grasp. Take the concept of cloud computing, for example. Instead of delving into the technical intricacies, you could compare it to a bustling airport terminal. Just as passengers board different flights to reach various destinations, data in

Spread the love

From Jargon to Clarity

In technical fields, your expertise is invaluable—but when sharing complex information with non-technical listeners, the goal isn’t to showcase your depth of knowledge. Instead, focus on helping them understand and trust what you’re saying. As a communication coach with 30 years of experience, my advice is simple: “It’s not about you.” Your listeners need clarity, not complexity. Tailoring your message to how they want to receive it fosters understanding and builds trust. Here are three

Spread the love

Speak With Confidence Tips

Tip #1: Consider your use of contractions If you want to polish and add gravitas to your speaking style, it’s time to reconsider your use of contractions. The words below can be a good start to set a formal tone and an excellent approach to elevate your messaging. aren’t → are not; there’s → there is; can’t → cannot; they’d → they had; couldn’t → could not; they’ll → they will; didn’t → did not;

Spread the love

QUESTIONS? NEED HELP?

Tell us what’s on your mind: