Between human nature and the English language, there are so many nuances that it can often cause confusion or major conflict. Without putting on my Rhetorician’s hat, allow me to give a brief description of a few ways we interact verbally. This delineation will help you identify not only the type of talk you are engaged in but also whether it is productive. While a case can be made for each of these having a time and place for its value, the immediate value to you will be understanding whether that time is right for you.
There are 5 types of talking that humans regularly engage in. As we walk through each of them briefly, you will notice how confusing and similar they may sound. In some cases, understanding the subtle differences may be more than helpful. Legal implications may also be involved. At least, human misunderstandings can occur. These misunderstandings can cause major difficulties.
1) GOSSIP
This type of talk focuses on personal matters and opinions about others, events, or topics. Gossip is characterized by relying mainly on personal experience, observation, or hearsay, and can often be malicious. The key distinction is that Gossip usually lacks substantial supporting evidence and may be speculative or harmful. Leaders are often those with the most assertive speaking style or extreme opinions.
2) CONVERSATION
This type of talk can overlap with Gossip, but Conversation differs by focusing on more narrowly defined topics. Viewpoints tend to be supported by some relevant information, rather than rumor or hearsay. It is generally less speculative and more balanced.
Opinions in conversation are expressed less aggressively and more assertively, with participants generally taking turns listening and speaking. Unlike Gossip, Conversation maintains order and mutual participation. Leadership can shift based on who asks questions or who holds the floor.
3) DISCUSSION
Discussion is a more focused and directed interaction. Topics are typically planned, and participants agree on both subject and direction. The main difference from Conversation is that Discussion involves intention and structure, often with chosen or emerging leaders who guide the flow.
4) DEBATE
Debate is a highly structured verbal interaction with planned viewpoints, each supported by relevant evidence. It differs from Discussion by requiring arguments to be clearly defined and positions to be formally established.
A specific topic is selected and agreed upon in advance. Participants in the debate are identified by the positions they take. The intent of debate is to “produce light, not heat.” Leaders are chosen by agreement and enforce agreed-upon rules of time and decorum, without participating in the exchange.
5) ARGUMENT
This is the least structured type of talking. Participants follow no rules or behaviors. There are, of course, norms of behavior that emerge, however. Typically, it is vociferous, loud, aggressive, and disrespectful of another participant’s point of view. Opposite of a Debate, an argument typically produces“more heat than light.”Participants frequently talk over each other, showing little interest in others’ points of view. Leaders are identified as the most aggressive participants.
There are specific talking techniques that can be learned for participating in any of these types, and whatever your purpose or point of view may be. A good Speech Coach will be able to identify and advise on what will be most productive for you, no matter which type of talking you use during the day.
