Speaker Notes
Helping the world to communicate one word at a time
Welcome to The Speaker Notes.
Here you will find notes, comments, and experiences from our world traveling speech coaching team.
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WE SEE RUDE PEOPLE
Posted on October 26th, 2009 2 commentsby Laurie Schloff/Senior Coaching PartnerBravo to columnist and author of the new book I See Rude People by Amy Alkon. Fed up, she invoices telemarketers for interrupting her evening peace, and makes considerate calls to tell others they lack consideration. I was shocked to find that Amy lives in California. We communication professionals in the Northeast thought that perhaps the cold well….made people cold. Seems like there just isn’t motivation for minding manners anywhere.All people want good relationships and a safe, pleasant community.So,why are we creating a surly civilization? Amy Alkon thinks it’s human nature. Amy, I (respectfully) disagree on this point.As a career observer of why people may not always choose the right words, I want to explore why most of us are, at least at times, not on our best behavior. Understand the causes and then we’re ready for the cure.So here we go with some reasons Why We See Rude People:1. Values Issue—Being kind isn’t emphasized or rewarded.2. Impulse Issue–Not having much control over emotions, especially when there are few consequences3. Skills Issues–Some don’t have the words, tone or demeanor to act more kindly4. Empathy Issue–Trouble understanding impact of behavior on othersLet us know your reasons for rudeness. Then we’ll move on to what to do about it.2 responses to “WE SEE RUDE PEOPLE”
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Thanks laurie,
Along with impulses, rushing around leads to lack of control which in turn makes us less less likely to monitor niceness.
I have found that reducing stress has made me a nicer person.Rose
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Dear Laurie,
Thank you so much for posting this! I do support the notion that rudeness is the human condition in the book (they didn’t cover the science at all in the NYT Styles piece). And I do think empathy is the heart of having manners. And I do think I should go to bed now, before I get any less coherent, but I was thrilled you posted this and wanted to tell you so. All the best,-Amy
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